I have met plenty of people who have issues believing in themselves. Self- doubt can be acute or chronic but in any way is bad for mental health.
Sometimes, we actually are, good at certain things but we need someone else to validate us. It can be fear of failure or it can be something really important so they don’t wanna take chances to mess it up. We all are aware of this what Lord Krishna told Arjuna in Mahabharata :
But when it comes to implementing it in real life, we all fail to understand that we are not always supposed to plan each step in order to attain success. Some times we forget, that we can just enjoy living in the present without caring about being successful.
According to a survey, risk-takers are more likely to achieve success than those who live in self-doubt every day; doubting their actions, decisions, choices, talents, etc.
I kept doubting my writing skills for years. I wanted to write books, articles, comics when I used to read them as a child. When I stopped making it a big deal and realized that I don’t have to do it for its success or failure, but because I like doing it, is when I finally started writing blogs.
With years, our doubts have become so instinctive that we are even scared of trying. Whenever I start doubting myself, I turn to my younger-self and ask her how she would have handled it. Why? Read further to know the answer :
1) Little knowledge
When asked from a 5 years old girl what she wants to become, she has no idea what it would be like, to become a doctor or an astronaut, but she will still say something and everybody will clap for her for having dreams. But when we grow up, we have experienced so many things, have better knowledge and can make a logical judgment, yet we see so many people in their twenties not knowing what they wanna do in their life.
Our 5-year old self had a dream, but with time, we just give up on them because of self-doubt.
2) Full of curiosities
As a child, we have so many questions, some answered, some not. We think they will be answered when we grow up as we will study more about it, but those questions are lost somewhere by the time we have enough knowledge. We tend to answer those questions that are asked by others instead of asking our own.
My 6-years old cousin recently asked me, “why do fishes survive in saline water?” We all were taught about how a fish can breathe by gills, but that knowledge didn’t really serve the question she asked out of curiosity.
3) Don’t have a haunting past
As a child, we live in present. A child doesn’t stop walking just because he keeps falling. But in our twenties, we all have made enough mistakes that have cost us something or the other. So, we tend to avoid doing a lot of things because of the fear of loss. We want to make lesser mistakes and still want to become a perfectionist. And, in order to do that, we start focussing on mistakes more and more instead of focussing on learning. You won’t learn to do it right until you accept that you have been wrong. There is no age to learn and hence there is no age to make mistakes.
4) Always encouraged for their actions
“You were a brilliant child but now you are struggling even to pass this exam, what happened?” Well, life happened!
We always get compared to our younger-self by others. As a child, people would clap on your first word, first walk, first prize, etc. that really encourage them to move forward. But when we grow up people “expect” that you should already know everything. You don’t have to rely on a “Good Job!” or “way to go buddy” by others as they don’t know everything about you. It’s about you and your dreams, you deserve that compliment, treat yourself for your awesomeness and keep working hard.
5) Have a whole life ahead
Just because you weren’t born last year doesn’t mean you don’t have enough time to explore your options and do what makes you happy. You always have time, you just have to keep that fire burning in you. Stop comparing yourself with your peers. I know it’s hard but you were happier when you weren’t in the race. If you are not getting better, you are running in the wrong race, withdraw immediately. A fish has gills to swim not to fly.
Not everybody gets Jeetu bhaiya in their life. That doesn’t mean you should stop believing in your dreams. Maybe you are Jeetu bhaiya of someone else’s life. 🙂
Take charge and be the boss. When you are your own boss, you don’t just work every day. You work to get the job done. Because it’s your work, your identity, your earning. Sometimes things don’t go the way we planned but there is always an alternative route. Even if you mess up that dance audition you are going back with experience and you may start working harder. Not all attempts are made for success, some are made to test the level.
Every morning, go in front of a mirror and tell yourself how proud you are of yourself and how you far you have come. Don’t lose hope. Don’t stop hustling. You weren’t born to be a loser. Love yourself. This is your day and you are going to live it at its best.