Before writing a blog, I do my research and I start from basics, so when this time I typed “suicide” on google this is the first thing that came up on my screen :
To all those who don’t know about it, AASRA is an initiative to help the people in despair. If you are feeling depressed or alone you can call on this number and they will help you out. They say, “we listen, we care”. So, next time, if you are having suicidal thoughts and you feel that nobody understands you, try giving them a call. They have been talking to multiple people, I am sure they will have a solution for you too.
Moving onto the purpose of this blog. A few days back I put up this story on my WhatsApp :
And, I was amazed to see so many people reaching out to answer the questions without even knowing what it was for. The major questions that I asked them were :
- What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read the word “suicide”?
- Why do you think people attempt suicide?
- What do they think while doing this?
- Do you think it’s normal to have suicidal thoughts?
- Did you ever have any suicidal thought in your life so far?
- What will be your reaction if I say that I am going to attempt suicide?
To all these questions I got the miscellaneous responses that I would share soon but before that, I would like to acknowledge the following people for taking out time and helping me with this little survey :
- Akash Punchvedi
- Vaibhav Kumar
- Ayusch Jain
- Raounak Sharma
- Uditi Chaudhary
- Tanusha Dhaintry
- Sabya Sachi Mishra
- Ayush Girdhar
- Umesh Sharma
- Priyal Tripathi
Suicide is a global health problem which is why I thought I should involve public opinions to understand what leads to this and how lethal suicidal thoughts can be.
According to worldpopulationreview.com, India ranks 21 among 176 countries with a suicide rate of 16.3 suicides per 100k which means in 1.37 billion population (in 2019 estimation) 1.6 lakh people have died because of suicide. There can be many reasons. Following were the answers to my questions :
Answer 1: The first thing(or the word) that came to their mind when they read the word “suicide”-
- Weak/ Coward/ Cowardness
- The reaction of loved ones if one attempts suicide
Answer 2: Possible reasons behind attempting suicide –
- Lack of communication or emotional support from loved ones in their hard times.
- Considering it as the easiest escape from their problems.
- Lack of awareness in childhood to deal with it.
- Depression, anxiety, exclusion, hopelessness, failure.
- Not willing to face the consequences of their actions or do the hard work.
- Not willing to confront parents because they are too scared.
- Not making the right choices in the present and hence resenting it.
- People being soft-hearted and unwilling to accept challenges in life.
- They want to be victimized thinking it’s the best way to punish those who did wrong to them.
- Repetitively thinking that they are up for no good.
- Lack of priorities or positive thoughts.
- Fed up of fighting against all odds with all your might and waiting for the change to happen.
- They are supposed to be strong and not show their vulnerabilities to the world.
- The judgment of people that affected their reputation or fear of judgment itself.
Answer 3: Thoughts people might have while attempting suicide –
- “I am up for no good” or “I don’t deserve to live”.
- “My problems will end and everything will be back to normal.”
- “I won’t have to face bad situations anymore.”
- “I am the root cause of every problem so I must die”.
- “It’s all messed up and there is nothing I can do anymore so it’s better to end it all at once.”
- “I am a coward. I am too weak to deal with these problems.”
Answer 4 and 5: Most of them said that it’s normal to have suicidal thoughts at least once in a lifetime but what matters is whether you control them or you let them control you. Those who experienced it were mostly in their teens but they eventually led their way out of that labyrinth of depression and anxiety. While some said they have never experienced it so far.
Answer 6: Their reaction to my suicidal thoughts would be:
- they would come to meet me ASAP
- talk about good memories or talk about positive things like ambitions in life, places to visit etc.
- Listen to the problem so they can help me find solutions to deal with it.
- Would ask me to go and work out (because, of course, it releases endorphins)
- Would suggest reading books to gain wisdom and knowledge.
- Would ask to make a bucket list and to praise myself every time I tick a task off that list.
- Would inform the closest person nearby so they can see me in person.
I would like to put a special mention of 14-years old Priyal, who said that she would ask our MMA teacher to inform my mom so she will deal with me her own way. I don’t know why but this seemed the most practical response to me that would work. 😛 She also added that “Don’t suicide because life gets harder for people around you and if you have lost a loved one, no one can understand it better than you”.
Well, it is easier to write a paragraph or two about suicide prevention or how to deal with mental health problems. So, I rather thought of conducting this experiment in order to find out what people have to say about it.
If you found anything relatable in this post, or if you are someone dealing with mental stress know that this is not the end. Sometimes we are dealing with the same problem in disguise. So, it’s better to solve them once and for all instead of finding ways to escape from it. If you’re not getting the support you need, you are seeking it from wrong people. You have control over choosing the people who uplift you.
As they say, “ You may have thousands of reasons to kill yourself but one reason is enough to live.” So every time such suicidal thoughts poke you, focus on that one reason, find your chi!