Almost every blog, fashion magazine, newspaper and your neighbor has announced the arrival of summer. Needless to say, it’s that time of the year when everyone starts staring at themselves awkwardly gravitating their holiday weight. The plethora of bikini body photos and performance pressure become the start of a summer nightmare.
Frankly, you loving food only makes me love you more.
I don’t want to punish every woman running on the treadmill gearing to be in shape for summer through my post. Maybe some day this will be the revolutionary plus size spring essentials post I always wanted it to be.
All we need to do is be smart. And thick. (yeah, just be that smug bitch)
Below are five must own spring-summer essentials. No matter who you are.
This is the point where you get rid of your usual hats and sport a totally chic head gear. There is one for every one.
Denims during summers are only bearable till they aren’t the ridiculous Capri. Denim capris are like crocs, purpose less and hideous at the same time. Save face and experiment with what you have in your wardrobe.
Whoever said coats are for winters probably never had a look at these. Summer coats have always been an important part of your wardrobe. Experiment, Experiment!
It’s all about being natural. Pancake faces are not just out of season, but deserve to remain outside your door. Nudes are an all time classic and gives you that gorgeous glow!
Having a cool pair of sunglasses is possibly one of the most run by and talked about summer essential. Please let this remain a constant ritual and pick up a cool pair. Experiment with colors, styles and shape!
Androgyny in fashion can be described as that moment when you don’t know if you want to dress like a boy or a girl. Just kidding.
Androgyny as a concept (aka mass confusion) goes back in time to when Zeus was cool and wearing lush green leaves was couture. Before fashion, ambiguity in gender was a more of a serious concern. People experienced changes in behavior and sexual preferences which not only affected society but gave you chillers down your spine explaining your ‘mixed’ taste to your family.
However, times have changed and so have we. We now think telling Facebook is an easier task than confronting your loved ones. It also makes sense to do this in front of a couple of hundred strangers who don’t care about your existence and self high five about it.
Coming back to androgyny in fashion, most people think it’s about wearing boxers or the entire spectrum of colors on yourself. Please don’t do the mistake of taking yourself seriously when you do that.
Dedicated to everyone who fears the disgrace of rejection, here is a short compilation of five important measures you can take to be androgynous in fashion without losing the respect of family and friends.
1) Sport a Mustache
Proven most effective and generated maximum responses. However, sport a mustache only if you look like that.
2) Challenge Mother Nature
I don’t know what you would have to perform on your body to look this legit but this step has proven most successful. So they say.
3) Lose the hair
You just have to forget about your lovely long hair. Forget about styles you try with your friends or your boyfriend going crazy about your tresses like the movies. Basically, piss people off.
4) Sport the Boyfriend Pants
Someone has to be a total genius to have come up with a super loose fit and blame it all on the guy you date. It looks way too cool on Katie Holmes. Don’t forget to check the mirror once though. To be sure.
5) The Unexplainable Photograph
You need one photograph (for your social media image of course) that leaves people confused out of their minds about your Identity. And brain.